Simple Moments

I was about 8 years old when we were visiting at cousins of mine. We lived 14 hours away, and I always looked forward to coming here. Although it was so far north, it seemed it was always warmer here than where we lived, probably because we lived in the "windy city". It was a Sunday afternoon and there was still snow on the ground, but it was so bright and fun, playing for hours on their acreage. I clearly remember my cousin saying to me, "of course its warm, its always nice on Sundays!" From there I grew up with almost a certainty that God would warm the week on Sundays. Well, its been warm here all week, but again today on Sunday. It was a wonderful day. Today we spent the majority of the day at friends, sitting in the sunshine while the children played around us. God has given me so many close relationships and I am forever greatful for the wonderful people He has placed in my life. Not everyone can say this. I am truly blessed!

Anyway, after a fun filled, lazy day, we headed home with very tired children. Jake got Ellie to sleep right away while Kobe played in the tub. After I got him out he had to do a treatment for his asthma. He asked for his blanket and I snuggled him while the loud brumm of the nebulizer drowned out the busy activities of the day. I asked him if he wanted to sing with me. He asked if we could sing Blessed Be The Name of The Lord. For those of you who don't know, this song means the world to me. It was my one of my sisters favorite songs, and I song I have sometimes forced from my lips, either because my tears have taken over or I haven't felt like giving Him that praise at certain times. Pathetic, I know, after all He does for me.... He gives and takes away, and sometimes I need to choose to still say "blessed be the name of the Lord!" It was such a wonderful way to end our day and a reminder to take the time with each child and have these moments. We sang about 4 songs together and I watched him with such pride and joy. Sometimes my heart is overwhelmed. This was one of those times!

Simple moments that make my world.....

By Faith

Lately I feel a heavy something on my heart. I cannot pin point it. There is no exact reason, just heavy. Sometimes heavy in a good way, sometimes not. Some things are little, some are not. I don't like this feeling, the Melanie I'm comfortable with is content. So much pain and sufferings surround this globe and its hard to believe that God is in control at all times. I don't use that last line lightly. What I mean is I don't believe that any of the pain on this earth is wanted by Christ, nor does He find delight in it. I have come to realize that due to our sinful, fallen world, God allows these things to happen, and I believe that one day it will be set right, but in the meantime, I don't actually really understand it, but have faith to believe it. Then I am reminded that the purpose for me, my being here, is to be His hands and His feet, lead by His Holy Spirit. Wow, what a responsibility, one I fail miserably at daily, and one that I often feel uncomfortable with. But why? With all the hype about the world ending on May 21st, (don't worry, I laughed at them too), but I have to say I wouldn't have minded if it had! Imagining the sound of the trumpet, the beauty that no eye has seen of Jesus coming down, Bobbi waiting for me to join her. I can't think of a more perfect moment....

I think I'm rambling again.

Faithfulness. A perfect Christ, a true God, one who's promises are for me and you. One without fail. One without sin. One with me in mind. Todays message spoke so clearly to me. All these uncertainties of life can be given to Him who sits upon the throne, and He can heal a heavy heart, even if I have to give it to Him daily and I just praise You Jesus for that!!!

Happy Sunday everyone and whatever you're dealing with, whatever burdens or victory's you feel, Jesus cares so deeply, just hand it over:)

For everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith. 1 John 5:4

A Mom

If you have a mom, there is nowhere you are likely to go where a prayer has not already been. - Robert Brault

This quote holds true for my mom. I have always known and felt her prayers carrying me, and what an amazing gift that is. My mom is a tiny lady. Sometimes I cannot believe she is still standing with the amount of weight she has had to carry. This is the second Mothers Day where she has not heard her youngest child's voice, thanking her for all that she had done and expressing her love. You see, my sister is in Heaven now, and for anyone who has lived this deep valley you realize that the meaning of holidays and joy change. God has made a way, where there seemed to be no way, and through Him my mom is still standing, sometimes tall and sometimes barely. But no matter what, she holds on with a passion you only have when you are put in a situation that gives you no other option. Jesus has held her and our family, and so often I wish I could be to her what she most often is to me. I love you Mom, from here to Heaven and thank Jesus everyday for the road He has made that leads to eternity... together forever, our whole family.

Mothers day means many different things to different people. I believe it was meant to be a day set aside to honor our Mothers, taking time to thank them and be with them. And that is a wonderful thing. But I can't help but think of my two beautiful children, and the two amazing women who gave life to them. How do they feel today when all around them people are happily celebrating and maybe deep down inside, few know their hurt. Many don't understand, and most don't even try. I wish I could tell them how much I love them, how much I pray for them, how much I hurt for them, and how I long to hug them and thank them. Along with my first paragraph the words of "There will be a day with no more tears, no more pain, and no more fears" come rushing into my mind and I sing that with hope, faith and a longing for my heart to never hurt again. Without these two courageous women, Jake and I would not be parents, and I too would hurt so deeply, especially on this day we set aside for Mothers. This brings me to my next point. So many people want nothing more than to be a Mom. They would give everything and anything to hold a child in their arms, call them their very own, and love them with a passion that sometimes we as Mothers forget to. This day is nothing but a reminder to them that they are not a mommy, and that is not easy on a normal day. Jesus, please hold them.

Also there are so many who have lost their Moms. They long to tell their moms how they are missed and long to see them, touch them, hold them again. This is not an easy day for them and my heart hurts thinking of them. I am so very thankful that I have my mom in my life, and I can't imagine my life without her, but I can't imagine my life without my sister either and yet somehow.....

I'm sure there are many other things we could think about on this special day but this is what was on my heart today. I am so thankful today to say that I have two children that could not be more our own. They bring so much joy and love. They bring me to my knees in frustration and tears. They bring me to Jesus in their words and actions and child faith. They show me often that without Him this parenting thing would be next to impossible. They make me smile, they make me cry, but they always make me thankful. God entrusted us with these two beautiful souls. Wow! I pray I will do what He has called me to do, and always strive be what I need to be as their Mother. Just like my Mom is to me, and that's a lot to live up to :)

My little girl's not so nice one liner of the day

Driving their bikes, my nephew got ahead of her and she says to him "idiot!" (I have no idea where she has learned that word!!! Oh wait.... maybe once I had road rage??) Anyway, she is promptly told not to say that. Her response-"Sometimes I say that to boys!"

Oh the joys:) Goodnight!!!

Thoughts

Isn't it interesting how humans want control over their lives, and think they sort of know whats coming and whats going and yet time and time again, are proven different? Ya, God reminded me again this week who's in control of my life, and luckily its not me. Although there are many situations in my life where I'd have rather made the final decision, I'm thankful that in this sin filled world, God has made a way for me.

Wednesday evening through Friday evening were spent in a hospital with my sick husband, at a town 4 hours south of home. Fun right? Well actually, while spending some time alone with my thoughts, without the interruptions of my children, I actually had some good God & husband time! This was of course after Jake started feeling better. There were so many things I could have been doing at home, but besides spending time with the kids, everything else waited patiently for our return.

I spent some time with a lady who was sick, scared and alone. I felt so bad for her but enjoyed listening to her. I prayed for her, and am still. I really had to stop and be so very thankful for family, friends, and the rich heritage I come from. God gave me a life that is so blessed, and yet my heart is often discontent. After spending some time with her, I learned that she possibly has Crohns, and obviously that alone brought many thoughts. So yes, I also spent a lot of time in thoughts of my sister, who I miss with everything in me, but it also, like so many times before, let me wonder at being with her again. And those are my happier thoughts.

So having two days to sit around also made me miss my kids. Normally when I leave them, its because we have something planned where we're busy and having fun, and usually I enjoy this break from parenting. But it got me to thinking about how much of their lives I miss, not from being away, but from getting caught up in the busyness of my life and the selfishness in me. Now that thought alone could take up many pages, but I won't. I just need to figure out my priorities and live them. Again, making me realize that I can't do this alone.

Thankfully we brought Jake in before his infection got any worse. Hes on the up and up and we praise Jesus for this. Our children were so worried about their daddy, asking if he had needles and probably connecting this to when their Auntie got sick. In their young minds this was probably a lot scarier for them then we realized. This made me think of how careful one has to be when explaining things to kids. Not giving quick, uniformed answers but making sure they understand to their ability what is going on around them.

So this is a glimpse into my mind.... lucky you!

Sweet Kid Moment of The Day

The ending of Kobe's prayer tonight, after praying for Justin and Lynden of course!

"and please take away all the bees, Amen!"

Yes I followed that with a big Amen also, but I guess in the morning I'll have to explain again that this prayer may not be answered during this lifetime! Oh, and Ellie started taking off with her bike, without the training wheels. She was so pumped to do this by herself. Goodbye babies, hello juniors!!! Love them:)