Priorities. Time. Words. Life.
What in the world am I doing?
Sometimes I seriously don't know!
Why can't I be the mother who loves to sit and play? Why don't I appreciate the little, dirty helping hands in my kitchen? Why does the question "Why?" annoy the crap outta me when I hear it 50 times a day?
My babies are sleeping right now. There truly is not a more perfect scene than a life that you would give your life for, sleeping so peacefully and purely. So often at the end of the day, after prayers, little chats, stories and rocking, I wonder what I have done for them that day that has prepared them for Him kingdom. And I know that "His Kingdom" is the point. So I wonder why its so hard to remember that during the day.
God, show me Your patience. Let me find Your hand during the moments where I need something to grab onto. Thank you that You are their Father, so that when I fail, You are standing. Tomorrow is a new day, and help me to see the same blessings in the "not so perfect mothering moments" that I see when I am loving on them. They are my children, and I love them more with each breath. Thank you for them Jesus!
Amen
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Thank you Dad
Psalms 103:13
As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him;
My dad.... how can I put my love for him into words....
My dad has been an example to me my entire life. Although he isn't perfect, when I think of men of God, I think of dad.
Growing up I had a bit of a self esteem problem. Ya, bet you can hardly believe that! I was the biggest kid in the family, and always thought I was fat. My brother and sisters loved to read and write and did really good in school. I liked to play and talk and the first book I read was an Archie comic, which I was quite proud of! I still remember him taking me for a walk, and reinforcing how wonderful I was, just the way God made me. He told me that I should try in school, but it didn't matter if I didn't get the highest grades, he was proud of me and my attitude and heart were a lot more important to him than anything else. It hurt him that I didn't like the way I looked, and he always affirmed my beauty. In fact, I still feel beautiful in his eyes:) Thank you dad!
My dad is my safety net. I could always run to him and I knew he would hold me. Even if not literally, as I grew from a child into a crazy teenager, I so often needed him. I cannot count how many tears he wiped from my eyes. I remember coming home when I was about 16. I had an awful evening, and I was a wreck. He came into my room because he knew something was wrong and just sat beside me wiping my tears and it meant the world to me. I didn't need to explain anything, he didn't ask. I just needed affirmation that I was loved, that he cared, and that's exactly what he did. Thank you dad.
My dad was sooo strong. He never cried. There are a few times I remember him going through hard times and It hurt my heart so bad. I wished I could take it all away and I hated seeing him like that. At my dads mom funeral, I remember leaning on my dad, his arm was around me. I didn't really know what was going on. I watched a tear fall from his eye, hit his cheek and then land on his shirt. I will always remember that tear. From that young age I wanted to protect him too, and I couldn't.
Growing up I had a healthy fear of my dad. I didn't get away with everything I wanted to. But what I remember the most is how even if I thought he was out to lunch on why I was in trouble, in the back of my mind I knew he wanted the best for me and that he wasn't doing this to bring me down. And usually I knew he was right, although I didn't often let that on :) I knew the reason I couldn't do whatever I wanted was because he cared so deeply. Thank you dad.
My dad doesn't judge me. He loves me for me. He has sly smiles when I still sneak chocolate from their pantry. He lets me bang on their piano while he plays with my kids. He does just about anything I ask him to do for me, and I ALWAYS know I can count on him. He is my hero.
My dad has always been my strength. When I didn't know where to go, I went to him. I think that is why it has been so hard in the last year and a half to try to be there for him. Watching his pain has broken my heart over and over. Thinking back to the day God took Bobbi home, (which I cannot do very often), it was my dad that I ran to. He probably didn't need that, and yet he held me. Literally, he held me, at that moment I needed him more than ever before and he did not push me away when he so easily could have. I didn't want anyone else. It was my dad. And I've never thought of that until now, maybe that's why my tears are flowing as I write this. Thank you dad.
There is so much more I could write about him. The wonderful example he has given me is something hard to live up. The husband he has been to mom. The grandpa he is. His relationship with God and his ability to explain anything to me is amazing. The only thing that sometimes comes into the way is his big words, like I said, I didn't read much ;) His understanding of the bible, and his freedom in Christ. His love for me.
I will always cherish you dad. I love you more than you know. I thank God for picking me to be your daughter. I am blessed.
Happy Fathers Day Dad!!!
Mel
As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him;
My dad.... how can I put my love for him into words....
My dad has been an example to me my entire life. Although he isn't perfect, when I think of men of God, I think of dad.
Growing up I had a bit of a self esteem problem. Ya, bet you can hardly believe that! I was the biggest kid in the family, and always thought I was fat. My brother and sisters loved to read and write and did really good in school. I liked to play and talk and the first book I read was an Archie comic, which I was quite proud of! I still remember him taking me for a walk, and reinforcing how wonderful I was, just the way God made me. He told me that I should try in school, but it didn't matter if I didn't get the highest grades, he was proud of me and my attitude and heart were a lot more important to him than anything else. It hurt him that I didn't like the way I looked, and he always affirmed my beauty. In fact, I still feel beautiful in his eyes:) Thank you dad!
My dad is my safety net. I could always run to him and I knew he would hold me. Even if not literally, as I grew from a child into a crazy teenager, I so often needed him. I cannot count how many tears he wiped from my eyes. I remember coming home when I was about 16. I had an awful evening, and I was a wreck. He came into my room because he knew something was wrong and just sat beside me wiping my tears and it meant the world to me. I didn't need to explain anything, he didn't ask. I just needed affirmation that I was loved, that he cared, and that's exactly what he did. Thank you dad.
My dad was sooo strong. He never cried. There are a few times I remember him going through hard times and It hurt my heart so bad. I wished I could take it all away and I hated seeing him like that. At my dads mom funeral, I remember leaning on my dad, his arm was around me. I didn't really know what was going on. I watched a tear fall from his eye, hit his cheek and then land on his shirt. I will always remember that tear. From that young age I wanted to protect him too, and I couldn't.
Growing up I had a healthy fear of my dad. I didn't get away with everything I wanted to. But what I remember the most is how even if I thought he was out to lunch on why I was in trouble, in the back of my mind I knew he wanted the best for me and that he wasn't doing this to bring me down. And usually I knew he was right, although I didn't often let that on :) I knew the reason I couldn't do whatever I wanted was because he cared so deeply. Thank you dad.
My dad doesn't judge me. He loves me for me. He has sly smiles when I still sneak chocolate from their pantry. He lets me bang on their piano while he plays with my kids. He does just about anything I ask him to do for me, and I ALWAYS know I can count on him. He is my hero.
My dad has always been my strength. When I didn't know where to go, I went to him. I think that is why it has been so hard in the last year and a half to try to be there for him. Watching his pain has broken my heart over and over. Thinking back to the day God took Bobbi home, (which I cannot do very often), it was my dad that I ran to. He probably didn't need that, and yet he held me. Literally, he held me, at that moment I needed him more than ever before and he did not push me away when he so easily could have. I didn't want anyone else. It was my dad. And I've never thought of that until now, maybe that's why my tears are flowing as I write this. Thank you dad.
There is so much more I could write about him. The wonderful example he has given me is something hard to live up. The husband he has been to mom. The grandpa he is. His relationship with God and his ability to explain anything to me is amazing. The only thing that sometimes comes into the way is his big words, like I said, I didn't read much ;) His understanding of the bible, and his freedom in Christ. His love for me.
I will always cherish you dad. I love you more than you know. I thank God for picking me to be your daughter. I am blessed.
Happy Fathers Day Dad!!!
Mel
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Life
So I'm having one of those days where things kinda feel like they're slowly falling into place. Not everything. But some things. Its a good feeling! It totally gives me a renewed attitude towards my children, which I'm thankful for. Sometimes it feels like everyday comes, just to get through and wait for night. I don't think that's what God intended life to be.
Somethings.
Got.
To.
Change!!!
I often wonder if I'm normal or completely off.
"So I commend the enjoyment of life, because nothing is better for a man under the sun than to eat and drink and be glad. Then joy will accompany him in his work all the days of the life God has given him under the sun."
Ecclesiastes 8:15 NIV
Isn't that the way it should be? I get that crap happens. Trust me, I do. I know that hardships, pain, frustration and many other issues will obviously get us down. I also know that sometimes it will be near impossible to get up from these situations for some time. I get that there are things some people endure that will forever change them, harden them, and quite possibly be the deciding factor on the direction their lives take. But I believe it is up to us to be the change. We don't have to stay there. And I'm convinced that half of the battle is our own attitudes and what we choose to do with our lives. So this got a little off topic... again! lol
The reason I started with this topic is because of my oh so wonderfully and fearfully made little girl. She has a heart of gold!!! She loves me with a passion! She would prefer to be cuddled and loved on for the majority of the day by mommy or daddy. She would protect her brother till the bitter end! She is AMAZING!!! Why then is there a side of insecurity that breaks my heart. Does it have to do with her time in her birth mothers womb? Us taking her away from her security at 5 seconds old? Something we have done? I struggle everyday with her attitude, her protection. It can drive me nutty :/ and bring out the fangs! And yet I'm the adult, shes the child. Seriously! And helpful advice would be appreciated:) I would love to have some attitude change for both me and her.
So ya. I don't know if this really made any sense, I write as I speak, and for those of you who know me, you know that I seldom make sense in person either! I guess my mind was just focusing today on making the most of the "good" times in life. Working on the times that make you want to crawl under a freight train. And living the life He intended for us to live. Which I could write an entire new post on.... hummm! Maybe next time :)
For all you mennos - Have a GREAT long weekend!
Ellie's Moment Today
We were at my parents and the kids saw a chipmunk outside. It was quite exciting so they ran in and were telling us about it. They said it was a squirrel but Grandpa was telling them that it was a chipmunk and explaining the color difference between them. Ellie, sitting on Grandpas lap and listening intently looks up and says "You look like a chipmunk!" Grandpa says "I do?" Ellie "Yes. Cause youa face is bwoun and yoa haiw is white! Oh and yoa teeth aw white too!" Well, that was exactly how he explained them :)
Oh we laughed, such a goof!
Somethings.
Got.
To.
Change!!!
I often wonder if I'm normal or completely off.
"So I commend the enjoyment of life, because nothing is better for a man under the sun than to eat and drink and be glad. Then joy will accompany him in his work all the days of the life God has given him under the sun."
Ecclesiastes 8:15 NIV
Isn't that the way it should be? I get that crap happens. Trust me, I do. I know that hardships, pain, frustration and many other issues will obviously get us down. I also know that sometimes it will be near impossible to get up from these situations for some time. I get that there are things some people endure that will forever change them, harden them, and quite possibly be the deciding factor on the direction their lives take. But I believe it is up to us to be the change. We don't have to stay there. And I'm convinced that half of the battle is our own attitudes and what we choose to do with our lives. So this got a little off topic... again! lol
The reason I started with this topic is because of my oh so wonderfully and fearfully made little girl. She has a heart of gold!!! She loves me with a passion! She would prefer to be cuddled and loved on for the majority of the day by mommy or daddy. She would protect her brother till the bitter end! She is AMAZING!!! Why then is there a side of insecurity that breaks my heart. Does it have to do with her time in her birth mothers womb? Us taking her away from her security at 5 seconds old? Something we have done? I struggle everyday with her attitude, her protection. It can drive me nutty :/ and bring out the fangs! And yet I'm the adult, shes the child. Seriously! And helpful advice would be appreciated:) I would love to have some attitude change for both me and her.
So ya. I don't know if this really made any sense, I write as I speak, and for those of you who know me, you know that I seldom make sense in person either! I guess my mind was just focusing today on making the most of the "good" times in life. Working on the times that make you want to crawl under a freight train. And living the life He intended for us to live. Which I could write an entire new post on.... hummm! Maybe next time :)
For all you mennos - Have a GREAT long weekend!
Ellie's Moment Today
We were at my parents and the kids saw a chipmunk outside. It was quite exciting so they ran in and were telling us about it. They said it was a squirrel but Grandpa was telling them that it was a chipmunk and explaining the color difference between them. Ellie, sitting on Grandpas lap and listening intently looks up and says "You look like a chipmunk!" Grandpa says "I do?" Ellie "Yes. Cause youa face is bwoun and yoa haiw is white! Oh and yoa teeth aw white too!" Well, that was exactly how he explained them :)
Oh we laughed, such a goof!
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